And it sucks sometimes.

Here’s why: It all falls under the label “social media”. And in a day when the most social interaction someone might have is to invite you to join their Farmtown, we could be heading towards trouble. A few thoughts:

- Social Media allows opportunities to interact (comment, reply, retweet) in a way that gives me the illusion that I have lots of meaningful social connections. It’s misleading, though; these comments can make me feel like I’ve connected with a good dozen friends today, but have I? Perhaps on a limited level. But part of the beauty of a real relationship is that it goes beyond a few witty or warmhearted comments. There is stretching, disagreeing, and something that can’t be achieved in social media: personal space. I want to share my heart with a friend in unguarded fashion (something hard to online digital media) – as well as without 20 comments posted about it.

- Social Media, for many, is a business tool, not a social tool. Being a tool, people will use it to build what they want; some people will use it to build into their social lives, and some will use it to build their own empires. Case in point: I get weird people I don’t know twittering back to me about what I just wrote, in some way that tries to say we’re chums – “Hey, @beezerboyd, I totally feel ya man! You’re crrrraazy!” Wouldn’t be so bad if I knew them, or had any social connection to them. But I don’t; they just added me to their list like some hip business blog told them to. I’m being twitter-stalked by somebody who wants to make me feel like we’re buds, but really just wants to sell something.

- Social Media has become a way to seem to know somebody. It has the equivalent feeling to sitting at a certain table during high school lunch. A great example is the Retweet, which has come to be something of an awkward name-dropper for twitter-crushes: “RT @joeschmoe I’m totally into fava beans. // yeah, I’ll get you some Chianti!” But you don’t know Joe Schmoe, it just feels good to kind of know him. Publically, that is. And that’s kind of weird; we don’t really want or need to know Joe Schmoe, we just want others to know we kind of (sort of (at least on Twitter)) know him.

- Social media gives us the opportunity do send out large amounts of personal social information without the need to develop a strong social tie. Which means that I could live a somewhat closed off life in the non-digital world – the people closest to me not really knowing how I am doing, while people I haven’t seen since high school are aware of my every step (“Tripped over my own feet today. Mornings!”) This allows us the anonymity that keeps us relationally safe (right alongside stagnant and isolated), yet the digital comments convincing us we have connections.

I’m no tech expert; I have no doctorate on social media. I’m also not a big rant guy. It’s just that community and living-breathing-face-to-face-people are real needs of the heart; to know and be known. Social media can add to this, but social media cannot replace this. If your friend posts that they are home sick, you could comment “Bummer! Get better!” And that would be nice of you. But what if you made some real deal chicken soup and went and saw them? Now we used social media for what it can be: open doors towards social living.

As long as chicken soup doesn’t become some business blog’s new social media model. If that happens, I might start a Mob War in Farmville.

This is a facebook post by my friend Shawn Murinko - really good stuff, felt I should post it.  Thanks for sharing, Shawn!  You can find Shawn on fb and read more here.

2009 Resolve

I resolve to listen to that voice which is calm, still and quiet even when the people and places around me are not;

I resolve to quiet competing voices of judgment and intolerance within the depths of myself so that I may better see the goodness which is all around;

I resolve to be less political and instead embrace that which is practical;

I resolve to let the occasional Merlot tinkle my tongue just a little longer for its complexity will translate into gratitude;

I resolve to dream big dreams — anything less would be a mockery to all that has been poured into me;

I resolve not to exploit laughter as a mask for a bad day for it is this very mask that keeps me from what I need and long for most: authenticity and vulnerability.