It really does feel like it was yesterday that my little guy was born. After a brief touch of crying, he looked up with those dark, observing eyes and quietly took in the view of his awestruck green parents. And we were never the same.

The hospital let us take him home. It felt like we were getting away with something, walking out to our car with this bundle of fragile, hopeful life. “They’re really just letting us walk out of here?”

Thirteen years later: today. Teen guy.

Many of you parents have already crossed this threshold of becoming the mom or dad of a teenager. I often get from the parents of teens a knowing look about what lies ahead for me. I can only explain the look like this: “Sympathy mixed with humor mixed with what looks like the strain of a difficult bowel movement.” It’s a great face, by the way, and many parents of teens make it. You should go to the mirror and try to duplicate my description. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

They know that there is joy, pain, gray hairs, great talks, misunderstandings, chem changes, and all kinds of stuff coming up in the next several years. I’ve got a long journey ahead of me.

We went out to breakfast this morning (keeping in step with one of his favorite statements from his toddler years: “Special times, dad.”). We sat talking, eating, joking – and it all felt so mixed: sadness, joy, celebration.

I think I would put it this way: I’m transitioning. I  appreciate my son now in different ways – his comraderie, his peer conversations. I’ve come to appreciate his jabbing humor, heart for justice, and quiet voice. He works hard; he is focused; he gets down. He has good days. He needs encouragement. He is my son.

So yeah, it’s going to be a long road. But I’m pumped. I wouldn’t trade one gray hair if it meant missing it. And hey: if you see me making that “moving look”, just remind me about what I said here.

For me personally, the analogy is challenging. Have I let what is true be choked out by worry? Have I let doubt (which can serve us greatly in our pursuit of faith) steal from my journey? What difficulties led me to choose a hard heart, where seeds can’t take root?

I find myself often in these stories. And just like these stories, the point is not to identify alone, but to take action.

• When I have a stone-heart, I examine why, and ask God for help in trust and forgiveness.
• When I have a thorny, weedy-heart, I get to the root of what I’m worried about, or what pursuits are choking God’s good work in me. You can’t wish for a weeded garden; you’ve got to get down and pull!
• When I my seeds are “snatched away”, I ask myself, “Did you let doubt take you down… instea of take you closer to Jesus?”

It’s been a process! I know this, though: roots are the evidence of a seed that grew in good soil.

I don’t know what that’s like. It broke my little Libby’s heart. We were both so relieved to get a call from him just a couple days ago; they had lost everything, but were all alive and together.

Libby is an amazing little person. She is always teaching me things, and the more I trust her and step back, the more she shows me that she can do so much! Maybe you have one of these kind of go-getters? Well, when it came to what we can do for Haiti, for her the solution was simple: $2.21.

That’s a specific amount, isn’t it? It’s also a special amount: it’s what she has. Kind of humbling – it seems like such a small thing but to Libs it was her piggy bank.

It reminds me of the passage in Mark 12 where Jesus is watching people give, and he’s blown away not by the big donors but by the widowed lady who gave a fraction of a penny, yet was all she had.

Encouraging, but humbling. Makes me think: I’m sure that many of us could give without thinking about it. My advice? Don’t.

Don’t give without thinking about it. Think about it. Let it get stuck in your heart. Break your piggy bank.

It’s why January is considered the most disciplined month of the year. We have just come out of the other side of a series of food-filled holidays and money-spending months. Add to that the fact that “it’s a new year!”, and you have the formula to start afresh!

Until February hits.

Change is hard. It’s also not as simplistic as we sometimes make it. Here’s an example: Last spring I tore my Achilles tendon. After a reattachment surgery, I spent four months on crutches; no pressure on my foot at all! I wanted so badly to begin moving on my own, but I couldn’t! If I had just stood up on my foot right away, I would have went right back down. And hard.

And therein lies the problem of some January decisions. We find out that there is a process involved, and there might be more steps than we originally planned. We sometimes aren’t prepared to take the full weight of a new decision. So when we fall (e.g. – miss a day of exercise, botch our reading plans, lose our temper, eat fast food) then it’s time to give up… we failed. But failing isn’t falling – it’s quitting. So when you mess up, instead of saying, “I quit!” ask yourself: “What led to my decision?”

I have some goals for 2010, and to me, they’re exciting. But really I have only one main resolution this year: Get back up every time. I’m not going to let imperfection stop my goals. I have let one bummer day ruin several disciplined and motivated and successful days before. I’m squashing that.

Want to join me? Get up one more time than you fall this year! Let’s do it.

Maybe He should have hired a firm.

The advent of Christ was a time-splitting event, forever altering history and human hearts. You would think God could have thought through a better marketing plan.

A young mother, painfully pregnant, stuck in Bethlehem for a government census (the timing!). While in town for the census, she goes into labor, and the Christ-child is born in a hillside stable, and placed in an animal trough as a makeshift crib.

That’s not even the worst of it. God sends His angels to announce this wondrous birth, and where do they go? To whom do they announce this momentous occasion?

“And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.” (Luke 2:8-12)

Yep, shepherds. Wool-watchers on graveyard shift. The minimum wage guys.

See, if the Almighty had thought this through, he could have alerted the local media, or sent His angels to the movers and shakers of the day; Israel’s version of Hollywood’s hottest. But He didn’t. He didn’t twitter, or post, or use serious networking. He went to the fringes.

He found those that would be ignored, shoved aside, perhaps completely forgotten. And He shared His beautiful advent moment with those guys, kicking off what would be for Jesus every day life: Go to the broken, the forgotten. Those confused, hurt, and misused. Don’t worry about appearances. Go deeper, to the heart. And in this advent season, we are reminded as Christ-followers to keep it up.

Maybe God has this marketing thing down just fine.

Tylenol shouldn’t be at the top of your Christmas wish list. I mean, come on.

Every year it happens, even amongst throngs of people who say they’ll resist it: turmoil over the Christmas season. Why? Why would we ever choose this? And I use ‘choose’ very purposefully. See, I think that all of the stress, worry, maxed credit cards and lack of peace are the result of a choice, albeit subtle.

A choice to worship with part of one of the fastest-growing religions in America: Consumerism.

Now before I’m pelted with holiday cheer in the form of fruitcake thrown in my direction, think it through:

• Credit card offers sent out every fall, with the marketing slant “being able to cross off everything on your Christmas wish list!”
• Stores chock full of extra kiosks and displays – full of strange collections you would never buy anyone (penknife and travel mug set?), except that it’s Christmas and you have no idea what to get Uncle Stewart. And yet you feel like you have to get him something.
• Hours and hours wasted, aimlessly wandering through aisle after aisle of meaningless gifts, only to spend a few measly hours with your family opening them.

These are all symptoms of a much bigger disease. Now please understand: I give gifts. I shop. I buy holiday wares. There’s a sweet place for gift giving and tradition and all of that. Some of my most cherished holiday memories come each year in the form of established family traditions.

For me, though, it’s a deeper problem than gift-giving: I want the holiday season called Christmas to reflect the peace, grace, and joy of Christ. I don’t mean this in some religious social way, like fighting to make CHRISTmas be about Jesus, or demanding government buildings display Christmas trees. I mean this as a personal decision for me, and from the heart of a pastor who sees fellow followers of Christ burnt out from the holidays.

How consumerism has replaced many of the pieces from the original Christmas story:

• The star in the east is replaced by fluorescent lighting and glossy print ads.
• The shepherds keeping watch by night have opted out; late night shelf-stockers at local retails stores prepare the altars for next days worship.
• As opposed to angels singing, “Glory in the highest!” we now hear credit companies shrilly singing: “0% interest and no payments for six months… O.A.C.!”

Solutions? Take it personal. We do not need rallies or protests. We need deep internal change, manifested in our attitudes, holiday focus, and spending habits. Here are a few ideas:

• Spend less. Decide that you will not go into debt for Christmas. One way my family has spent less is to stop buying gifts for every adult sibling – with my brothers, in-laws, and spouses that’s eight presents! We sometimes secretly choose one sibling, but it really makes it easier every Christmas.
• Spend time. Your greatest gift is presence. The huge amount of time spent shopping could be logged at home, playing a game with your family, or baking together.
• Give the gift of serving. Every Christmas season is an opportunity to serve and be a blessing to others. No matter how big or small, make plans with family or friends to serve and touch lives. There are countless shelters, food banks, churches, schools and service groups doing something… get out there!
• Read the Christmas story. Get back to the raw beauty of the story: a humble birth in a hillside stable by a small town girl. That literally changed history. Sit down and read the accounts (found in the gospels of Matthew and Luke) of Jesus’ birth.
• Create honoring traditions. What will you add to your holiday season that brings honor? Peace? Joy?

I hope you have a beautiful Christmas season… Tylenol free and clear of shopping madness!

And it sucks sometimes.

Here’s why: It all falls under the label “social media”. And in a day when the most social interaction someone might have is to invite you to join their Farmtown, we could be heading towards trouble. A few thoughts:

- Social Media allows opportunities to interact (comment, reply, retweet) in a way that gives me the illusion that I have lots of meaningful social connections. It’s misleading, though; these comments can make me feel like I’ve connected with a good dozen friends today, but have I? Perhaps on a limited level. But part of the beauty of a real relationship is that it goes beyond a few witty or warmhearted comments. There is stretching, disagreeing, and something that can’t be achieved in social media: personal space. I want to share my heart with a friend in unguarded fashion (something hard to online digital media) – as well as without 20 comments posted about it.

- Social Media, for many, is a business tool, not a social tool. Being a tool, people will use it to build what they want; some people will use it to build into their social lives, and some will use it to build their own empires. Case in point: I get weird people I don’t know twittering back to me about what I just wrote, in some way that tries to say we’re chums – “Hey, @beezerboyd, I totally feel ya man! You’re crrrraazy!” Wouldn’t be so bad if I knew them, or had any social connection to them. But I don’t; they just added me to their list like some hip business blog told them to. I’m being twitter-stalked by somebody who wants to make me feel like we’re buds, but really just wants to sell something.

- Social Media has become a way to seem to know somebody. It has the equivalent feeling to sitting at a certain table during high school lunch. A great example is the Retweet, which has come to be something of an awkward name-dropper for twitter-crushes: “RT @joeschmoe I’m totally into fava beans. // yeah, I’ll get you some Chianti!” But you don’t know Joe Schmoe, it just feels good to kind of know him. Publically, that is. And that’s kind of weird; we don’t really want or need to know Joe Schmoe, we just want others to know we kind of (sort of (at least on Twitter)) know him.

- Social media gives us the opportunity do send out large amounts of personal social information without the need to develop a strong social tie. Which means that I could live a somewhat closed off life in the non-digital world – the people closest to me not really knowing how I am doing, while people I haven’t seen since high school are aware of my every step (“Tripped over my own feet today. Mornings!”) This allows us the anonymity that keeps us relationally safe (right alongside stagnant and isolated), yet the digital comments convincing us we have connections.

I’m no tech expert; I have no doctorate on social media. I’m also not a big rant guy. It’s just that community and living-breathing-face-to-face-people are real needs of the heart; to know and be known. Social media can add to this, but social media cannot replace this. If your friend posts that they are home sick, you could comment “Bummer! Get better!” And that would be nice of you. But what if you made some real deal chicken soup and went and saw them? Now we used social media for what it can be: open doors towards social living.

As long as chicken soup doesn’t become some business blog’s new social media model. If that happens, I might start a Mob War in Farmville.

Quick recap:

• Went on a fiction reading spree – something like a novel a week for almost four months now. Which I know isn’t a lot for some, but I had become such a non-fiction reader that I lost some of the joy of printed story. Great to be back in the groove!
• Summer trips – The Oregon Coast was great, lots of down time with my kiddos and the sweet lady. Sandcastle building is one of my top relaxing hobbies. Plus some great here and there’s, camping and family fun.
• The House Is Going Up! Our house is being built, bit by bit! This has been fun to see happen.

So hey, good to be back. See you around more soon.

Allow this disclaimer: I really enjoy BBQ! It’s great. And fireworks are really enjoyable displays. In and of themselves they are not issues. It’s when we forget what we are a part of something bigger, and have an incredible freedom to celebrate.

For me,  there are great parallels to the church.  Many have forgotten (or forsaken) the freedom Christ provided for us. We forget the mission God has placed in the path of His church, to go into all of the world with the hope of the gospel. To be a blessing; to love and serve with the strength God provides.

For some, it has turned into a Sunday event where people can attend churches as passive consumers (“gimme some BBQ!”) and watch an entertaining, well put together show (“Mama, look – fireworks!”).  Again, Sunday gatherings are not the issue in themselves.  But when we trade the freedom of new life in Christ, when we set aside the mission – serving and loving this world with the full gospel – all for a plate and a show – we are simply exercising our ability to miss the point.

It’s still about grace. Forgiveness. Hope.

And a world Jesus loves.

It’s a changing world.  There are new challenges to face, and leaders must be able to discern not only how to navigate change, but how to do so in a way that keeps the church/organization/business moving through the “change waters” with her!

The Change-Resistant Saboteur

Here are some scenarios that saboteurs love:

• “We’ve never tried that before!”  This one is a pretty obvious one; when faced with new opportunities, it is natural to retreat to the well known path.  Brave leaders cannot be afraid of new efforts.
• “We tried that and it didn’t work!”  This one is a little less obvious than the first.  It’s not always wise to scratch a tried and failed situation off the list.  Maybe the right kind of team wasn’t there to see it happen.  Perhaps you are at a place now to do it right!
• “The Mountain To Die On” – Sabs love this one, because we end up making a process, event, or ministry a non-negotiable.  Why is this so bad?  Our clarity for evaluation goes out the window.  A big value for many companies these days is excellence – not a bad value on it’s own.  However, if we evaluate a ministry by the value of excellence (when it truly might need to change) it can really be misleading!  Especially if we leave out words like, oh, effectiveness.  In other words, I can do things that don’t really matter with excellence!

There are other scenarios as well – saboteurs are opportunists!  I’ll leave you with a couple tricky spots to avoid:

1. Becoming obsessed with change:  Change can be such a healthy thing for an organization that we often equate change with progress.  And for progress to happen, we must change.  But I have seen leaders too often fall in love with change, which makes for schizophrenic ministries, new every year… or at least after every conference or book.  Which inevitably leads to burned-out teams, confused team leaders, and lots of money and time spent.  Change has to be approached with discernment, weighing the changes with the lens of the groups’ mission.

2. Only embracing changes that you initiate:  Can you really embrace and accept change?  Or do you only love change when it’s your idea?  A good litmus test:  When someone offers a change idea that you would not normally think of or appreciate, is your response resistance?  Do you shoot it down right away?  Learn to process and think through each idea for its own merit, and change will be your ally.

Thoughts?